The gong has been struck. After waving goodbye to Apple, Steve jobs has decided to run for the Presidency of USA.
So his election manifesto is something like this:
Let’s be honest: our country is a financial mess. This is no time to play the blame game. (I’ll make sure that time comes later.) What we need now is leadership.
The U.S.A. needs someone who is both businessperson and innovator. Someone who not only takes advantage of the bully pulpit, but can be a real bully. I think you know who I’m talking about.
Remember how pathetic Apple was when I came back to the company in 1997? It was 90 days from death — and now it’s the most valuable company on the planet. Let’s see Michele Bachmann do that trick.
I want to be your president because I think innovative thinking can help balance our budget in months. Three simple ideas to start with:
1. Tax the rich. I’m not talking about all the rich — just one of the rich. Bill Gates has more money than God, and he’s not giving it away fast enough through his foundation. I say let him keep a billion just so he has some fun money, and pass a special Bill Gates Tax to confiscate the rest. It’s mostly your money anyway.
2. Revamp Social Security. We’re about to run out of funds, so we need to be practical. Let’s give the elderly iTunes Gift Cards instead of cash. I’ll give the Social Security Administration a really good deal, so every dollar they pay Apple will show up as two dollars on a special Social Security iTunes Gift Card. The U.S. saves money and senior citizens enjoy more music, movies and TV shows. Win-win.
3. Reinvent the military. I don’t know about you, but when I spend a billion dollars, I expect to at least get some entertainment value out of it. Our defense spending is over $500 billion every year — and that’s not at all amusing. My solution: a dozen iPads, a clever iOS developer and a couple of servers in a Pentagon broom closet. Honestly, one good app could control thousands of drones and missile systems all over the world. A single soldier could obliterate a small country as easily as he beats a level of Angry Birds, and have fun doing it.
Do we need a businessperson to run this country? Yes. Do we need an innovator to run this country? Yes again. See any others out there who fit the bill? Didn’t think so.
It’s time for every American to set priorities for 2012:
- Get a new iPhone 5.
- Vote Steve Jobs for President.
Thank you for your support.
There is also a video at the website which is equally hilarious as this post.
So head over to http://www.jobs2012.com/home/jony-ive-on-redesigning-america.html and have a good laugh.